Common Misconceptions
The Húngaros rob young girls to marry them. They don’t marry for love, if you know what I mean. There’s a girl at that encampment down there that they stole from Córdoba. The men don’t work, you know. The women have to go read palms. They start when they’re little girls. And they speak another language. Who knows how they understand each other! Maybe you’ll learn what they say to one another.
This is a translated quote from a conversation I had with a woman who lives near the Romani community where I do my research. I wanted to learn a little about what the local Gaje have to say about the Rom. I knew that there were misunderstandings and fears, but I hadn’t yet heard such an obvious example of full out cultural ethnocentrism.
What is illustrated here is the deep-rooted otherness felt by many Gaje toward the Romani community. In the insinuation that Romani men don’t marry for love but for money and that the girls start working from a very young age, we see an underlying criticism of Romani commercialism. The Rom here, as in most parts of the world, have a very hard time fitting into the dominant social scheme, independent of what they do or do not do. The same individual can be seen as too ambitious or too lazy, depending on what is convenient for the person making the claim. In this case, it is not seen as a positive trait to be overly ambitious. Many Rom in Mexico live comfortably. Many families do not experience the extreme poverty of, say, Rom in Eastern Europe. This does not mean that there are not Rom struggling, because there are. However, in Garnachilandia there are various families that are noticeably better of than their Gaje neighbors. This creates a situation in which many Gaje invent reasons as to why they are successful and exaggerate their commercialism to a point where even marriage is strictly business.
Next, the woman mentions the language and wonders how they understand each other. The language of the Rom has always been a point of attack. In Europe, it was believed for centuries to be a form of thieves’ cant. It was not seen as a true language, but rather just another way to trick people.
While in Mexico it may not be described as thieves’ cant, it isn’t seen as a foreign language. In a country where most things foreign are admired or envied, it becomes apparent that Romani is neither one nor the other. It is a dialect. This may be due to the Rom’s bilingualism. Because they speak Spanish, have lived in the same community for generations and Gaje consider them, in one way or another, to be Mexicans, they are not seen as foreign. They are simply seen as the other, as different. In many Mexican towns, being different and standing out is not seen as a positive cultural attribute. The idea is to blend, to join the majority. Anything else is often seen as chosen separation, as an unwillingness to be part of the community. Many Rom have wanted to be able to join the majority while also holding on to their cultural values. Very few places in the world have allowed them to do that.