Office Politics
Backstabbing, two-faced, lying, cheating, instigating and falsifying. This is all just a part of the wonderful world of politics… and office politics is no different.
Listen up fellow cubical monkeys; the office walls have ears, and mouths as well, so everything we are about to speak of today needs to be kept between just the two of us. Okay, with that said I would like to go over a few strategies on how to survive office politics, and play the game to win.
The first thing you have to realize in the world of office politics is that you have no friends. There will not be anybody to save you when the stuff really comes crashing down, so be prepared at all times for that giant dung ball to drop. Because if and when it does, you will be the only one left standing in the steaming pile unless you have a plan and by plan, I mean a good one.
In every office, there is but one person that stands out above all the rest as the most naive. He or she is of course the least danger to you, but also your best ally and scapegoat. If you buddy up with them, you can use them as your foot scraper to wipe all traces of responsible residue onto their sleeves after a major blunder for ease of upper management viewing. The best part is, this person will be none the wiser… as being wise would be quite the impossible feat for them.
It all sounds so easy, but I have left something out. The climbing of the corporate ladder. If your boss happens to be of the opposite sex, then you will have it made with this one too, however. You can simply climb right on top of them, then right over within the same blink. They will be so busy trying to catch a glimpse of your goodies while you’re on the way up, they will not even relize what has happened until they find you kicking them out of their corner office the next day.
Of course you can always make it using good old fashion “hard work”… but that seems so old fashioned to today’s standards!
*photo curtesy of kkiser at stock.xchng