Housekeeping?
April 28, 2007
My husband has finally convinced me to hire a housekeeper. This was not an easy task. Since I talked about racism in Mexico last time, I thought it might be apt to share a little about why it took so much convincing.
First, there are my own experiences. I realize it’s different now, but growing up, only the wealthy could afford to hire housekeepers. Since I was never one of the wealthy, it always seemed like something far off and even a little excessive. Of course, I never had a career or children to look after either.
In Mexico, most people hire housekeepers and nannies. I know a lot of singles, more married couples and even more families that have someone come to help clean and may even cook at least once a week. Many of them hire someone to come three times a week or even every day. I’m not talking about well-off families either. These are families with their own financial problems. Some are struggling to make ends meet. Somehow, though, there is always a little money for hired help.
In my time here, there are a number of things I have seen that I’m not comfortable with. For one, most people refer to the housekeepers as muchachas, or girls, whatever their age may be. They also often use the diminutive when referring to them. Juana, for example, becomes Juanita. Laura is Laurita and Ana becomes Anita. When I mentioned this to my husband, he pointed out that many people also use the term Doña before the name, which signifies great respect. Even so, muchacha and –ita just don’t sit well with me.
What’s more, I am very uncomfortable being the person who can afford a housekeeper while the cleaning lady cannot. I am uncomfortable paying someone to do my chores. I am even more uncomfortable doing this now that I’ve seen the division of classes here in Mexico.
When I first arrived in Xalapa, I rented a small apartment behind the owner’s house. A young girl, no older than fifteen, spent the week with the owners. She cleaned and cooked to earn her stay. At night, she would step out onto the terrace and cry. I could hear her from my bedroom. I started taking her to the nearest pay phone to call her family, since the owners would not let her use the phone.
I learned that she came from a small town in the mountains outside of Xalapa. She and her sisters had to find work in the city because her family could no longer afford to take care of her. Her case is not unique. On the contrary, it is very, very common. I’ve actually heard people say that they prefer to hire girls because they do as they’re told.
With all of this in mind, I did not want to hire a housekeeper. After thinking long and hard about a fair wage, a just number of cleaning responsibilities and agreeing to find someone over the age of 20, I conceded. After all, we do need the help.
hello, i found your blog because you put the word Xalapa, i try to add it to www.blogsveracruz.com a blogs agregator only for blogs in Veracruz, but i found the rss is a general one and not a specific channel for your blog, a terrible y technical problem…
Any way is nice to found some one writing about living in México (and study people)
Comment by Ivan — April 29, 2007 @ 8:58 pm
Hi,
I also live in Xalapa. I think you take “ita” too much as belittling which I doubt is really the case. I am 40 and I am often called joven. OK, I don’t look 40, more like 24, but still it’s joven I am called.
My partner is often called mija (my daughter). I call my partner chica and she calls me chico. I have the feeling - which might be very wrong - that the diminutive form is used to express closeness.
I am also curious of what racism you have encountered. In my experience (3+ years living in Xalapa) the Mexican people are extremely friendly. I joked to my partner some time ago that Mexicans seem to be more tolerant of homosexuals compared to Dutch people. And that’s quite a compliment.
People do call me güero but that’s to me certainly not racism. More the opposite.
Comment by John Bokma — April 30, 2007 @ 12:16 pm
Hi there John-
I’m glad to hear from someone else living in Xalapa! I totally agree that -ita and other diminuatives are 9 times out of 10 used as way of expressing affection or simply common phrases. Maybe you are going to have a whopping slice of cake, but you’ll say un postrecito. I, of course, am not offended when family or friends call me güerita.
I also think, though, that language can be very subtle. Too many times I’ve heard people use a neutral term like moreno along with charged words like naco (a word I hate) and chusma. I’ve heard older women talk about their housekeepers and the women that sell tortillas as las morenitas as though they were cute and folkloric.
I don’t know how to compare Mexico to other countries. I will say though, that racism is everywhere to one degree or another. One of the challenges that go along with writing about another country is the multitude of people, cultures and experiences that you are dealing with. So all I can really do is share what happens around me, a very small piece of the whole picture.
It sounds like you are part of a very open-minded family. That’s wonderful. The people that I surround myself with are also that way. However, I have also found myself in a number of situations where the racism runs deep.
I send you my best and hope to hear more from you in future blogs.
Comment by Kristina — April 30, 2007 @ 6:51 pm
So what did you decide on for a fair wage for a housekeeper? I live in Quintana Roo and am curious as I see a wide disparity among people as to what they pay their employees.
Comment by Kathe — May 13, 2007 @ 3:35 am
Hi Kathe-
Yeah, we see a wide disparity here also. So much depends on where you live and what you need done also. For example, my mother-in-law has a very large house and is a bit demanding when it comes to the chores. She pays 120 pesos/day. A friend of ours has a small cabin and pays 150/day. The women who clean where my husband works are also paid 150/day for cleaning all of the offices. So we decided on 150 as well, as we have a small home and really only need basic cleaning done. We also provide the mid day meal and bus fare. It may not be as much as we would like to give but it seems to be quite competitive for our area and needs. The whole thing is still a little hard for me to get used to.
Comment by Kristina — May 15, 2007 @ 4:01 pm