*photo curtesy of yardenxant at stock.xchng

Top Excuses for not Coming into Work…
4. Please help me; I am at the gas station and I need a raise to make it the rest of the way to work.

3. I cannot make it in today; my girlfriend’s just gone into labor. If my wife calls tell her I’m sick…

2. I received a letter from the government yesterday apologizing for my death…

1. I’m drunk, I’ve fallin’… and I can’t get up!

Ways to Know if a Man is ready for Marriage:
4. If he has ever sat down at a bar and uttered the words, “Bartender, I’d like two Pink Ladies” and was not referring to the two blondes at the end of the bar… he just might be ready for marriage.

3. If he has cried while watching Oprah and another woman has seen him… he better marry her immediately before word gets out.

2. If he finds himself in a circle of people in the office who are gossiping and he is the one in the center of that circle… he just might be ready for marriage.

1. If he owns his own shower loofah, heck, if he even knows how to spell “loofah”… he’s definitely ready for marriage!

Don’t be shy… chime in if you have a few to add to the lists.