…and I am not talking about swinging around one at another strip club either!

*photo curtesy of bcnunnery at stock.xchng

Fresh out of rehab, Lindsay Lohan is topping the sexy hot lists this year—and most notably the annual Maxim 100 List. She had even beaten out Eva Longoria. Now doth my eye deceive me, or is this young lady a rather poor choice?

Perhaps if she was in Ethiopia…
Well, no—probably not there either!

Lindsay Lohan, you need to… Eat!
Something… Anything…
A celery stick, a Ritz cracker, an M&M, a Tic Tac!

Put it into your mouth, swallow it and then leave it there to stay… and I mean all day!

I do feel bad for her, because she seems to be very confused, and has obviously been hanging around the wrong crowd. She needs a mentor to give her some stern but good advice, such as:

• Cracklin’ Pork Rinds- good!
• Crack/Cocaine- bad!

• Devouring ladyfinger down throat- yummy good!
• Sticking own finger down throat- bad, very bad!!!

• Pole dance with friends at strip club- bad, but better than…
• Pole dance with friend and be mistaken as the pole- very sad!

Lindsay Lohan is only 20 now and she has already packed a full life of accomplishment, both of the good and bad variety. Hopefully the rehab did some good, before she throws away her career in the same fashion as Paris Hilton and Britney Spears! Here’s hoping she matures A LOT over this next year… and survives!