Well Folks, there have been an awful lot of e-mails floating around with some pretty stiff news and information concerning our happiness, health and well being and what I wanted to know, was how much of it was true.

*photo courtesy of scornejor at stock.xchng

Well, looking up some particulars on the trusty Snopes.com I found a few surprises.

I have been under the belief for months now that I had conquered the cell phone telemarketers by putting my phone number into the “Do Not Call” list that has been passed around.

I was quite proud until I found out that there was nothing to worry about in the first place. There is no plan going into effect where cell numbers are going to be given out. So all I have to say is, “QUIT PASSING THAT DARN THING AROUND… WOULD YOU?”

Further more in the e-mail chain letter news I have been afraid to cook my pork wieners in the microwave in the patented bachelor cool whip containers ever since I heard it causes cancer. Now I com to find out that there is basically no truth to that accusation.

It is to the point that we can’t cook with paper towels because that causes cancer… no Saran wrap, no wax paper… but hey wait a minute, don’t microwaves cause cancer in themselves! I think I will just quit eating and stay on the safe side!

Next I have been hearing about answering your phone while it is charging will kill you. This seemed like an awfully bad way to die, so I have been keeping the phone in a Kryptonite jacket underneath Rosie O’Donnell’s bed every time I charge it.

Today, I find that the biggest proof we have is one man in India who befell a freak accident. Well, I guess this is one of those things where one person dies while repeating the pledge of allegiance, so we ban it for eternity. Come on folks, what’s life without a little bit of danger!