Let’s talk more about that nebulous thing called culture.

My family is in town for the week. I suddenly find myself doing a balancing act between two cultures. I am no longer neither culturally completely American nor am I (obviously) culturally Mexican.

There are so many little things that we take for granted in our daily lives that are quite significant in someone else’s cultural territory. Let’s take closing car doors as an example. I was taught to really close the car door. I don’t mean slam it, but close it with ganas.

I quickly learned that really closing the car door in Mexico is slamming it and is rude and aggressive. Imagine how something as seemingly mundane as closing the door when you get out of the taxi can be taken by the taxi driver as hostility. Now imagine what that does for fostering cross-cultural tolerance.

The same can be said for basic greetings and niceties. When I go back to the United States, I always feel a little uneasy about how we leave a room, a house or an event. We just leave. I always feel much more comfortable when I take each person’s hand and kiss his or her cheek before saying goodbye- even if I’m only going to the store.

Saying buenos dias, tardes and noches are all subtle niceties that go a long way. If you’ve been in Mexico for a while, you can imagine how a foreigner looks when he or she walks into a restaurant without saying buenas tardes, sits down and orders without saying por favor or gracias and gets up to leave without saying buen provecho. Most people may just say, “That’s a gringo for you,” but even so, it won’t leave a very good impression.

You can translate words. You can interpret sentences or even gestures. Translating cultural norms, though, gets quite a bit messier.

From Marriage and Families