After all that political blogging, we have a palate cleanser of pure gripe. Rejoice!

So I’m doing the laundry the other day, folding up everyone’s undies with Type-A precision and stacking ‘em up in the drawer, and the little “Fruit of the Loom” tag flashes in front of my eyes each time I turn a pair right-side out. Fruit of the Loom. Remember the TV commercials with those guys dressed up like apples and grapes and stuff, magically popping up wherever cotton briefs are praised? Complete with laugh track?

Yeah.

Only… Fruit of the Loom. Unpack that. What’s a loom? It’s a device for weaving. Warp strung vertically, weft shuttling back and forth horizontally, over-under-over-under. Weaving. It’s what you do on a loom.

Most Fruit of the Loom products have never seen a loom in their life. They’re knit, dammit.

Bad word choice makes baby Thoth cry and stomp on his Sheaffer Calligraphy Maxi Kit!

Now, take a look at your basic denim jeans. Denim is the fruit of a loom. It’s woven. It’s twill, specifically 2/1 twill; the weft goes over-under-under the warp in a shift-by-one progression that creates a diagonal pattern. You do that on a loom. But you don’t knit on a loom.

And every single product I can find on Fruit of the Loom’s website… is knit.

Someone needs to give them a stern talking to.

So, maybe we can’t agree on which political party should be trusted with our tax dollars, and that’s sad. But what we can see eye-to-eye on is that I obviously need to get a life, if this is the sort of thing I choose to gripe about.

Hey, if that’s the secret to peace on earth, I’m glad to take one for the team.