Okay, okay… so I was just trying to get your attention!

*photo bt Reuters

“Lady Law,” as I like to call him, could not be called a brute unless he was on a Richard Simon’s Cruise and his servant forgot to pack his favorite hair gel…

But with that said, this is the scoop today:
A London photographer claims that he was assaulted by Jude while outside his home trying to score a few photos of the ex-heart throb. What’s better yet, he has the scratch mark on his face to prove it.

You heard me… No, he wasn’t assaulted with a menacing nine iron as Jack Nickolson is famous for, or pummeled to a pulp as Mike Tyson seems to prefer.

We can only assume from the size, shape and severity of the scratch that there was a heck of a lot of flailing arms and screams going on before Jude ran back to safety of his home before the photographer was able to turn around, put down his lip stick, get the shawl off his shoulders and open a can of whoop a__…

Seriously though, I think I would be a bit embarrassed to be either of these gentlemen. Number one, you don’t go sneaking around someone’s home and taking pictures of them without their permission. Number two, you dont go ‘b__tch’ slap someone just for taking a photograph of you.

…and yes I have appropriately and purposefully given these the appropriate titles of “Number 1″ and “number 2″.

So to all ye photographers… remember to make sure that Jude has had his fingernails cut recently before you try to mess with him… we hear this renders his powers useless!