As I think about the thousands of ads there are in a single magazine, I cannot help but wonder. Why should I really care that Hulk Hogan uses speed stick deodorant, or that Preparation H is doctor recommended? These are problems that many people suffer I am sure, but they are not necessarily the kind of thing that sticks in anyone’s mind for more than about 30 seconds. However, there is a new wave of marketers that has stepped up for the challenge to gain the attention of desensitized generations raised in front of glowing monitors of blood, pain, suffering, and sex. So, pull up a chair, turn off the tube, cross your legs (if you are a male you will soon anyway), as we are about to unleash the top selling items for 2006.

First, we have an ad for golf putters and walking sticks placed in die hard hunter magazines across the country, usually strategically located next to the exotic genuine moose dung earrings, but we won’t even get into that.

Photo & Product found at Tellmewhereonearth.com

Now I know what you are probably saying, big deal, right? These are not the usual putters and canes however. These putters and canes are made from the “entire reproductive organs of a grown bull.” Now this is an ad that will grab a person’s attention, and perhaps even motivate them to cut out to show a friend, hang on their school locker, or pin on their office managers back.

Photo & Product found at Head2Tail.com

Picture this, a poor little bull huddled in the far corner with his knees clenched in pure panic, crying, “Made from what?” I couldn’t help but feel my own voice box creep up my throat, as the very thought began to cross my mind. Yesterday’s credit card bills seemed like a wet willy in the ear compared to this painful humiliation. I just had to know who would do such a thing, why, for how much, and most importantly… what herbal male enhancement has that Bull been taking?

This brings us to another popular trend in the market today, male enhancement pills, seen everywhere from television to popular magazines. Bigger will always be better, right? Or so it seems. These ads picture a down and out loser of a husband, picked on by his boss, teased by his friends, shunned by his own family, you know the story. Then this poor sap of a man gets a hold of a few male enhancement herbs, and bam… kapow! Superman is unleashed upon the world; filled with confidence, self assuredness, and most notably… a very happy wife.

A happy wife indeed and what better to go along with her newly endowed husband than a pair of her very own endowed breasts. Fortunately for her, she has even more options here than her male counterpart does. Modern science has brought women their very own mixed herbal blend of vitamins guaranteed to produce larger breasts, or if the woman just wants a taste of what enhancement out of life bigger breasts could offer. Victoria secret is always there to lend a helping hand with their exclusive wonder bra line. Women have learned that it does not matter if the breasts are all them or half water filled balloons; as long as they depict themselves to the world with the proper social expectations long since learned even before undressing their favorite Barbie for bedtime.

(to be continued…)